Thank You to Dads!

Thank You to Dads!

                We at the Filis Law Firm want to thank all of the fathers who contribute daily to the betterment of our children’s lives. Our families who have children with special needs are members of a unique group that I am proud to be a member of. This discussion is directed to you.

I was recently confronted with a statement from a client that the mothers in our unique group do all the work associated with caring for our kids with special needs. I found that statement quite exaggerated based on my own observations of many families with a child or children who have a disability, but I felt obligated to explore this generalized statement and tease out some truths.  In our society, traditionally, mothers are designated from day one as the instant child care expert. In homes with a child who is disabled, in my experience, out of the two-parent families, it is typically the mother who go to all the doctor visits and read hundreds of books/articles/blogs on their child’s condition and possible treatments, but these circumstances follow what is still the standard practice in most American homes.

Recent studies indicate that even if the mother is employed outside the house, she is still likely to take most of the household chores and child care.  An article from CNBC in April 2015[1] revealed the results from a survey by the Working Mother Research Institute where 79% of working mothers are primarily responsible for laundry, cooking, and child care. But, believe me, we want our kids’ dads in our unique community to join in the child care and be on an equal footing.  If parents are not equal participants in child care, then look at the circumstances in your household and see if there is a gatekeeper[2] who is (possibly unknowingly) keeping others at bay away from the child.

The common example of a gatekeeper parent is typically the mother in the relationship.  Scenarios display that the mother is reluctant to hand over child care responsibilities or becomes critical the father’s efforts. Studies show that the father will learn to participate in child care less, and if the father does participate, he views it as baby-sitting and doing the mother a favor. The studies I read are based in settings of households of typical families, whose households do not include a disabled or medically fragile child. In our unique group, we have  children who can truly suffer harm from certain environmental factors/allergens, or can suffer health problems for failure to take medication timely. These health risks are circumstances that are additional to other typical child-rearing issues, all of which can elevate a caregiver’s protective instincts to become reactionary and often blunt. It has been my observation that all of the caregiver parent’s patience is spent on the child.  Multiple interactions with the gatekeeper/caregiver parent can be unbearable for an “outsider” and result in pushing away some people, even family members, from the child. Gatekeeper parents can change the circumstances, welcome the other parent to join in and take over certain areas of the child’s life. Gatekeepers will need to completely remove themselves, offer no criticism, and allow the other parent or family member to participate in events with the child, even if the efforts made are far from perfection.

Give others a chance to join in and add value to your child’s daily life.

[1] CNBC, Working moms still take on bulk of household chores, Kelley Holland, April 28, 2015.

[2] Mothers’ Gatekeeping of Father Involvement in Married- and Cohabitating-Couple Families, Catherine Kenney and Ryan Bogle, paa2009.princetonedu/papers/91717.

Purposeful Parenting – It Works in My House

In my spare time, I do occasionally read through Facebook posts that show up on my timeline. A friend (from years past) posted an article about the negative impact of parents using sticker charts to reward their children. My comment was brief.

With whatever you as a parent may use in a new behavior strategy, you must have a plan in place to remove it.”

My mistake was that I was commenting on a post of a mother of typical children.  Her response was

“Hmmm, that’s an interesting term, ‘behavior strategy.’ I guess my strategy is just to treat to kids with respect and love.”

Now, I know this person.  I am not going to infer that by her comment she meant that I do not treat my kid with respect and love.  My parenting is purposeful or else my child with Autism can run off, get hurt, or worse.  One example of a parenting strategy I have used in the past is rewarding my son with stickers.

Years ago, my son rejected food due to tactile issues.

This was especially difficult for me as I come from a family who owned Greek restaurants.

Acropolis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Food was quite important in my childhood. As a new mother, having a child who would not eat anything other than watered-down rice cereal was devastating and caused me much fear and anxiety.  The main fear was that his overall health could be affected.

An Autism consultant offered a solution – a reward system with a visible chart to indicate when my son ate a new food item.  The sticker charts were a success in encouraging my son to eat one new food item a week. This strategy took months; however, it worked for us. Currently we don’t use sticker charts for introducing foods and thankfully my son will eat most foods.

In my house, there are strategies and planning sessions to set and accomplish goals for my son.  No apologies for my version of purposeful parenting.

Backyard fun

What to Expect in the New School Year

There is a new focus on the alarming rise of special education student suspensions.

The U.S. Department of Education – Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services released a letter dated August 1, 2016 restating a goal of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to offer eligible children with a disability a free appropriate public education (FAPE).  The letter “serves to remind school personnel that the authority to implement disciplinary removals does not negate their obligation to consider the implications of the child’s behavior needs, and the effects of the use of suspensions (and other short-term removals) when ensuring the provision of FAPE.”

Be proactive.

If your child’s Individual Education Program (IEP) has already been prepared for 2016, the new school year can mean you will have a new IEP team member, new classroom, and new teaching method. Your child’s IEP may need to be modified to address any new behaviors your child may have due to the changes in his or her classroom routine.

School is starting soon and parents are invited to meet the teacher. This is a great opportunity to quickly discuss some key points with the newest member of your child’s IEP team. Typically, schools will offer 15 to 20 minutes with your child’s new teacher so start the school year off right.  Have a friendly introduction letter ready to hand off to your child’s new teacher so that he or she can later take their time to read and review the special details you determine are important for knowing your child.  Offer proven strategies for the new teacher that may have worked with your child over the summer break to establish a safe, supportive learning environment, such as wearing head phones when in a loud environment.  Point out what is important in the IEP.  Add your contact information and make sure you answer the calls or emails in the event your child’s new teacher reaches out to you. Respect your child’s teacher’s time.

Stay current with new special education legislation and news. Parents of children receiving special education services in self-contained classrooms can write a letter to the school district to have cameras installed in the classroom.  See an example letter. The Texas Education Agency has created a comparison chart of laws applicable to schools and students receiving special education services.

Finally – Cameras in the Special Ed classrooms Commissioner’s Rules

The Texas Education Agency has finally posted the Adopted New rules regarding Cameras in the Classroom, effective August 15, 2016.

You may go to TEA website  for more information. I have pasted below the text for your viewing pleasure.

Text of Adopted New 19 TAC

Chapter 103. Health and Safety

Subchapter DD. Commissioner’s Rules Concerning Video Surveillance of Certain Special Education Settings

§103.1301. Video Surveillance of Certain Special Education Settings.

(a)                 Requirement to implement. Beginning with the 2016-2017 school year, in order to promote student safety, on request by a parent, trustee, or staff member, a school district or open-enrollment charter school must provide video equipment to campuses in accordance with Texas Education Code (TEC), §29.022, and this section. Campuses that receive video equipment must place, operate, and maintain video cameras in self- contained classrooms or other special education settings in accordance with TEC, §29.022, and this section.

(b)                 Definitions. For purposes of TEC, §29.022, and this section, the following terms have the following meanings.

(1)                 Parent means a person described in TEC, §26.002, whose child receives special education and related services for at least 50 percent of the instructional day in the [a] self-contained classroom or other special education setting. Parent also means a student who receives special education and related services for at least 50 percent of the instructional day in the [a] self-contained classroom or other special education setting and who is 18 years of age or older or whose disabilities of minority have been removed for general purposes under Texas Family Code, Chapter 31, unless the student has been determined to be incompetent or the student’s rights have been otherwise restricted by a court order.

(2)                 Staff member means a teacher, related service provider, paraprofessional, or educational aide assigned to work in the [a] self-contained classroom or other special education setting. Staff member also includes the principal or an assistant principal of the campus at which the [a] self- contained classroom or other special education setting is located.

(3)                 Trustee means a member of a school district’s board of trustees or a member of an open- enrollment charter school’s governing body.

(4)                 Open-enrollment charter school means a charter granted to a charter holder under TEC, §12.101 or

§12.152, identified with its own county district number.

(5)                 Self-contained classroom means a classroom on a regular school campus (i.e., a campus that serves students in general education and students in special education) of a school district or an open-enrollment charter school in which a majority of the students in regular attendance are provided special education and related services and have one of the following instructional arrangements/settings described in the student attendance accounting handbook adopted under

§129.1025 of this title (relating to Adoption by Reference: Student Attendance Accounting Handbook):

(A)               self-contained (mild/moderate/severe) regular campus;

(B)                full-time early childhood (preschool program for children with disabilities) special education setting;

(C)                residential care and treatment facility–self-contained (mild/moderate/severe) regular campus;

(D)               residential care and treatment facility–full-time early childhood special education setting;

(E)                off home campus–self-contained (mild/moderate/severe) regular campus; or

(F)                off home campus–full-time early childhood special education setting.

(6)                 Other special education setting means a classroom on a separate campus (i.e., a campus that serves only students who receive special education and related services) of a school district or open- enrollment charter school in which a majority of the students in regular attendance are provided special education and related services and have one of the following instructional arrangements/settings described in the student attendance accounting handbook adopted under

§129.1025 of this title:

(A)               residential care and treatment facility–separate campus; or (B)                off home campus–separate campus.

(7)                 Video camera means a video surveillance camera with audio recording capabilities.

(8)                 Video equipment means one or more video cameras and any technology and equipment needed to place, operate, and maintain video cameras as required by TEC, §29.022, and this section. Video equipment also means any technology and equipment needed to store and access video recordings as required by TEC, §29.022, and this section.

(9)                 Incident means an event or circumstance that:

(A)               involves alleged “abuse” or “neglect,” as those terms are described in Texas Family Code,

§261.001, of a student by an employee of the school district or charter school or alleged “physical abuse” or “sexual abuse,” as those terms are described in Texas Family Code,

§261.410, of a student by another student; and [or]

(B)                allegedly occurred in a self-contained classroom or other special education setting in which video surveillance under TEC, §29.022, and this section is conducted.

(c)                 Exclusions. A school district or open-enrollment charter school is not required to provide video equipment to a campus of another district or charter school or to a nonpublic school. In addition, the Texas School for the Deaf, the Texas School for the Blind and Visually Impaired, the Texas Juvenile Justice Department, and any other state agency that provides special education and related services to students are not subject to the requirements in TEC, §29.022, and this section.

(d)                 Use of funds. A school district or open-enrollment charter school may solicit and accept gifts, grants, and donations from any person to implement the requirements in TEC, §29.022, and this section. A district or charter school is not permitted to use Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, Part B, funds or state special education funds to implement the requirements of TEC, §29.022, and this section.

(e)                 Dispute resolution. The special education dispute resolution procedures in 34 Code of Federal Regulations,

§§300.151-300.153 and 300.504-300.515, do not apply to complaints alleging that a school district or open- enrollment charter school has failed to comply with TEC, §29.022, and/or this section. Complaints alleging violations of TEC, §29.022, and/or this section must be addressed through the district’s or charter school’s local grievance procedures or other dispute resolution channels.

(f)                  Regular school year and extended school year services. TEC, §29.022, and this section apply to video surveillance during the regular school year and during extended school year services . [Decisions regarding whether video surveillance will be conducted in self-contained classrooms and other special education settings in which extended school year services are provided are left to local discretion.]

(g)                 Policies and procedures. Each school district board of trustees and open-enrollment charter school governing body must adopt written policies relating to video surveillance under TEC, §29.022, and this section. At a minimum, the policies must include:

(1)                 a statement that video surveillance is for the purpose of promoting student safety in certain self- contained classrooms and other special education settings;

(2)                 the procedures for requesting video surveillance and the procedures for responding to a request for video surveillance ;

(3)                 the procedures for providing advanced written notice to the campus staff and the parents of the students assigned to a self-contained classroom or other special education setting that video and audio surveillance will be conducted in the classroom or setting;

(4)                 a requirement that video cameras be operated at all times during the instructional day when students are in the self-contained classroom or other special education setting;

(5)                 a statement regarding the personnel [individuals] who will have access to video equipment or [cameras and] video recordings for purposes of operating and maintaining the equipment or recordings [and the roles and responsibilities of those individuals] ;

(6)                 a requirement that a campus continue to operate and maintain any video camera placed in a self- contained classroom or other special education setting for as long as the classroom or setting continues to satisfy the requirements in TEC, §29.022(a);

(7)                 a requirement that video cameras placed in a self-contained classroom or other special education setting be capable of recording video and audio of all areas of the classroom or setting, except that no video surveillance may be conducted of the inside of a bathroom or other area used for toileting or diapering a student or removing or changing a student’s clothes;

(8)                 a statement that video recordings must be retained for at least six months after the date the video was recorded;

(9)                 a statement that the regular or continual monitoring of video is prohibited and that video recordings must not be used for [routine] teacher evaluation or monitoring or for any purpose other than the promotion of student safety;

(10)             at the school district’s or open-enrollment charter school’s discretion, a requirement that campuses post a notice at the entrance of any self-contained classroom or other special education setting in which video cameras are placed stating that video and audio surveillance are conducted in the classroom or setting;

(11)             the procedures for reporting a complaint alleging that an incident occurred in a self-contained classroom or other special education setting in which video surveillance under TEC, §29.022, and this section is conducted;

(12)             the local grievance procedures for filing a complaint alleging violations of TEC, §29.022, and/or this section; and

(13)             a statement that video recordings made under TEC, §29.022, and this section are confidential and a description of the limited circumstances under which the recordings may be viewed.

(h)                 Confidentiality of video recordings. A video recording made under TEC, §29.022, and this section is confidential and may only be viewed by the following individuals, to the extent not limited by the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 (FERPA) or other law:

(1)                 a staff member or other school district or charter school employee or a parent of a student involved in an incident described in subsection (b)(9) of this section that is documented by a video recording for which a complaint has been reported to the district or charter school;

(2)                 appropriate Texas Department of Family and Protective Services personnel as part of an investigation under Texas Family Code, §261.406;

(3)                 a peace officer, school nurse, [or] administrator trained in de-escalation and restraint techniques as provided by commissioner rule , or a human resources staff member designated by the school district’s board of trustees or open-enrollment charter school’s governing body in response to a complaint or an investigation of an incident described in subsection (b)(9) of this section; or

(4)                 appropriate Texas Education Agency or State Board for Educator Certification personnel or agents as part of an investigation.

(i)                  Child abuse and neglect reporting. If a person described in subsection (h)(3) or (4) of this section views a video recording and has cause to believe that the recording documents possible abuse or neglect of a child under Texas Family Code, Chapter 261, the person must submit a report to [notify] the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services or other authority in accordance with the local policy adopted under

§61.1051 of this title (relating to Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect ) and Texas Family Code, Chapter 261.

(j)                  Disciplinary actions and legal proceedings. If a person described in subsection (h)(2), (3), or (4) of this section views a video recording and believes that it documents a possible violation of school district, open- enrollment charter school, or campus policy, the person may allow access to the recording to appropriate legal and human resources personnel of the district or charter school to the extent not limited by FERPA or other law. A recording believed to document a possible violation of school district, open-enrollment charter school, or campus policy may be used in a disciplinary action against district or charter school personnel and must be released in a legal proceeding at the request of a parent of the student involved in the incident documented by the recording. A recording believed to document a possible violation of school district, open-enrollment charter school, or campus policy must be released for viewing by the district or charter school employee who is the subject of the disciplinary action at the request of the employee.

(k)                 Access rights. Subsections (i) and (j) of this section do not limit the access of a student’s parent to an educational record of the student under FERPA or other law. To the extent any provisions in TEC, §29.022, and this section conflict with FERPA or other federal law, federal law prevails.

 

Kevin and Avonte’s Law

The word eloping took on a whole new meaning when my three year old son began his new behavior of running away from me.  Due to the fact that I was already a “helicopter mom” even before my son’s autism diagnosis, my son did not have many opportunities to slyly wander away from me while we were out in public.  I faced the problem of having my son bolt from me with no (obvious) warning.

For many parents, elopement or wandering is a frightening problem that can occur with their children who are on the autism spectrum.  Parents may soon have resources and assistance to address elopement.  U. S. Senior Senator Chuck Shumer sponsored the new safety bill called Kevin and Avonte’s Law.  The U.S. Senate passed safety legislation on July 14, 2016. Currently in the U.S. House of Representatives, H. R. 4919 is assigned to a committee.

According to Autism Speaks, Kevin and Avonte’s Law would allow Justice Department grants to be used by law enforcement agencies and nonprofits for educational and other programs. The grants would facilitate training and emergency protocols for school personnel, supply first responders with additional information and resources, and make locating technology programs available for individuals who may wander from safety. See Autism Speaks   website for more information.

Conference March 5th

The 11th Annual Conference Resource Fair Saturday March 5th

Come visit the BMK booth to get information about estate planning, including Special Needs Trusts and wills tailored to address the needs of your family.  For more info about BMK go to www.bmkpllc.com

The HCC campus in Spring Branch at 101 Sam Houston Parkway will be the place to be on Saturday March 5th.  Free entry for the those who register early

Register On-line January 11thFebruary 26th at:

http://11thannualconferencespecial2016.sched.org/

For more information, call Family to Family Network at 713-466-6304

 

Gina Mouser Presentation for Parents with nonverbal autistic children

My family has benefited for years from Gina Mouser and her natural ability to connect with autistic children and her advise to adjust environments and parents’ actions.  She is offering a free presentation called “Teaching Functional Communication & Reading skills” (Specifically those who are “non-verbal”) on Wednesday, July 15, 2015 at 6:00 pm.  Please RSVP by July 10, 2015 to ginaam@sbcglobal.net. 

Saturday May 30th Safety Class

Autism Seminar 5-30-2015

Call Houston Karate at 713-464-7937 to sign up for the Self Defense & Restraining Without Injury Seminar.  This is a very unique opportunity!

At Houston Karate Academy, the instructors offer a weekly class for children with disabilities.  I have enjoyed watching my son attend classes and earn a white belt with a black stripe.

I highly recommend Houston Karate Academy.

Leona

Freudianism does not “fix” autism

As I drove away from my son’s school this morning after dropping him off over half an hour after the late bell, I had my customary call with my mother.  Irritation level being red, I attempted to remain calm as she asked questions about my son’s morning.  “Is he sick?” “Did he sleep okay last night?” “He knows it is show-n-tell today, why did he stall getting ready for school?” Such questions led to other questions about earlier inappropriate behavior. “His teacher said that yesterday the only problem they had with him was about his gloves. Why does he feel like he needs to wear them in school all day?”

At that point I imagined my 7 year old son on a couch, in a semi-dark room, with an old man wearing a brown tweed jacket sitting nearby with a pad and pen in hand.  Not necessarily Freud himself, but some psychoanalyst with good intentions trying to figure out why my son does what he does.  That is when I stopped my mother and said “Freudianism does not fix autism.”

Of course, learning why my son exhibits a certain behavior should be analyzed, but I have learned to redirect the focus of the question.  The focus should not on the gloves themselves and what they represent to my son as a symbol of some sort.  The focus should be on what it is in his environment that is possibly agitating him or causing anxiety so that he seeks out to be soothed by wearing his red gloves.  By the way it a hot April in Texas so cold hands are not the answer. Will I ever know the answer as to why my son disrupted his class yesterday by wearing his red gloves? Of course not. Can I live with that and move on? I have to.